“WHEN YOU LAUGH, THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU
BUT WHEN YOU CRY, YOU CRY ALONE.”
When
I was in college, every time I hear her name, people would say:
“Ah si Ma’am ba? Napaka-istrikto nun!”
“Napakababa niyang magbigay ng grade. Good luck!”
“Humanda ka ‘pag siya ang naging teacher mo! Wag kang
magpapa-late”
“Kapag may assignment, ipasa mo agad!”
“Wag kang a-absent”
“Magda-drop na ako sa English 105. Natatakot ako kay
Ma’am.”
“Napaka-istrikto niya. Parang hindi ako papasa”.
These
remarks frightened me because she was my teacher in English 100 that time. She was
strict, yes. She gave us difficult exams, yes. She was never late and expects
us to do the same, yes. As a student, we must abide by the rules, yes. And we
really have to study, unfortunately and fortunately, (beat the drum thrice)
YES!
When
I became an Eduk student (specializing in English), I met her again. My fears of
having her as a teacher again grew more. This time, I cannot abide by her rules
because I have other obligations other than studying. I was a newly elected as
a president of a dying organization at that time. Although I was only more than
two months member, I was elected right away to lead a handful of members. The
organization was dying. It almost died actually. I am not a good leader but I
have to try my best. As a new leader, I was expected to revive it, or so I
think.
To
revive the organization, we must solve the financial crisis and we must recruit
new members. We did the latter. We succeeded, I guess. However, the former
requires a lot of sacrifice and patience. And so, I signed (without thinking
twice) a contract worth 1.9 million with the producer of Ang Guro Musical Play starring Ms. Marquez of GMA 7.
After
signing the contract, the organization had to endorse the musical play to different
educational institutions in Nueva Ecija. However, only few members of the
organization were willing to help which forced me to sacrifice my classes. Even
those members whose neighbor is a principal did not even try to endorse the
play. Even those whose teacher is a teacher did not ask me how they can help.
They were just texting me asking for updates of the program’s success. I was
sad and angry which made me decide to do things on my own. That was the moment
when I started facing problems in my classes. I even told myself that if I have
to drop any of my subjects, I will drop it.
When
I was at the verge of falling down, one of my seven (if I am not mistaken) teachers
approached me. She called me outside then led me to a park at the back of the
classrooms. She asked why I was absent for the pass few meetings. I was about
to lie. I had no intention to tell her the truth. I was afraid. I don’t know
what to say. She looked at me. She stared at me. I was sitting and she was
standing. I was at the point of lying to her but her voice was so powerful. It
was so strong, so motherly, so caring, so loving. When I looked at her, I started
telling her the truth—everything. I don’t know but I felt I had to. I admitted
it was my fault.
She
was silent for a moment. Then she asked me if I had dreams. Yes, I replied. She
reminded me about the dreams of my parents for me. I started crying. I told
myself that I had big dreams. Silently, I reminded myself that I no longer want
to suffer how unfair life is. I did not speak for a while. I was listening to
her. My tears started falling down from my eyes again. Then (if I am not
mistaken) I saw crystal balls falling down from her eyes too. I wanted to hug
her as if she was my mother but I didn’t. When I was still sobbing, she said,
“Marvin,
anak, when you laugh, the world laughs with you…
But
when you cry, you cry alone.”
It
echoed in my mind and I sobbed even more. She further explained that I had to
prioritize my studies. I had to make sure that I will not break my parents’
heart. I had to secure my future first before trying to be a hero for others. I
had to be good to myself first before being good to others who do not value my
sacrifices in the end when I fail. Yes, it’s hard to pursue something big when
you’ll sacrifice something bigger. And it’s even harder to give up something
when you know it is the reason why you are in that place.
After
that moment, I decided not to drop any of my subjects. Most of all, I resigned
as a president of the organization. I got low grades that semester but I started
once again. I did the biggest mistake in my life but I learned a lot from it.
It happened for a greater good.
After
that very significant encounter with my teacher, when I hear people talking
about her firmness in the class, I just smile. I know that deep inside her strictness
resides a caring and loving mother. She is
ONE of the teachers who wishes to see the better things, if not the best,
in her children—her students. The way I see her as a teacher totally changed.
The way I perceived teaching changed. The way I see teachers WITHOUT an M.A. or M.S. degree
changed. Importantly, the way I see myself in the future changed. And I will
always remember the only teacher who talked to an ordinary student when he was
about to lose everything he was dreaming for. I hope she will be my teacher
once again and yours too. She is a living heroine—a modern one.
As
Jeff Goins said, “Some heroes fly beneath the radar. They aren’t celebrities
and you won’t see them on the conference main stage. But they give of
themselves for the greater good. They act nobly. Their lives inspire.”
Oh,
did I forget to tell her name?—I was talking about NANAY CAROL of CAS, CLSU.
April
24, 2013
1:09
a.m.-1:30 a.m.
Note: I forgot some part of the conversation I had with
her but I tried to capture the most important things that happened.—MISinacay
To
read in a pdf format, click the following link: http://www.slideshare.net/marvinsinacay/nanay-carol
To
read it in my blog, click the following link: http://sinacaymarvin.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/lifes-lessons-to-live-by/
Thanks
for reading.